Too often, I find, in an attempt to treat women who have been raped sensitively, they are recast into the role of victim dolls. What I found so empowering about your story was that, through your recounting, was this subtext of: this is what I thought, this is what I heard, sensed, felt, this is what I decided, this is how I responded… To tell this story in this way is to turn a rape survivor from a victim into a heroine.

What an amazing person you must have been at 14. What an amazing person you are now! Again, thank you.

http://finnhjalmar.wordpress.com/2010/07/23/gasoline-on-%C2%ABthe-fire-of-shame%C2%BB/

Your level of clarity, understanding and shear will power is astounding and incredibly inspiring.

Thank you ever so much for sharing this. It is a testament perseverance and full of hope that anyone can really rebuild and shape their life after the hardest of ordeals.

I wish nothing but the best for you and your family.

It was such a wonderful experience – for both of us I think. The actual conversation. Because, I think, we met. We met. We hardly knew each other, but we met. The complete opposite, the antidote (no, not the antidote) but the opposite to a rape. Respectful, intimate, trusting, mutual. Joyful. Shared. Beautiful. Something to be treasured, cherished. I’ll never forget meeting Jane. And a friendship has begun because of our meeting.

But to any listeners… present and potential, there is an important footnote. This is not the whole conversation you’ve heard. Not yet. This edit is, if you like, Part I, the account of the rape itself. And a brief reflection from the end of our conversation to give a sense of who and where Jane is now.

Parts II and III are coming. And they are as powerful, as extraordinary as Part I. But different.

Jane Prinsep is one hell of a woman. Not because she has recovered (or not yet recovered) from her experience of rape.

She is extraordinary because she is taking on her life. She is embracing life. And all it brings.

And for that – I thank her and I find myself inspired by her. As did the many many people, men and women – mostly young men and women – who have heard her voice so clearly these last few days at Latitude Festival.

For now, that’s it. But there’s more to come.

Thank you Jane.

K

It’s not that I’m easily shocked or offended. It’s because, although I don’t know Jane personally, I like her. Her tweets are frequent and frequently funny, she’s generous and kind, she has the same questionable taste in music as me, likes the same crisps and our sons share the same name. Small things perhaps but enough to make you care about someone in a geeky, cyberworld way. Believe me I know how selfish this sounds but I didn’t want to listen because it seemed too close to home, too personal. I thought it would be unbearable to hear.

Parts of it are unbearable. Devastating and disturbing. at one point I felt I had to make sure my children were asleep incase they could hear the recording. the hideous irony of that made me weep. But I continued to listen and I’m so glad I did.

Ultimately, what I’m left with is Jane’s honesty, not just in taking part in the dialogue and the frank, open way in which she recounts the events but because of her conclusions. She doesn’t sound like she’s been taught or encouraged to view her experiences this way. This is not the voice of a woman who has been led or instructed to come to these conclusions. This her voice, her views and her choice as to how the rape influenced her life. From what I do know of Jane this makes perfect sense, she evaluates life on her terms, it’s what makes her who she is.

I sincerely hope that this dialogue reaches more people, people who need to hear it. It doesn’t make for easy listening, it’s powerful, upsetting, brave and very important.

Jo
x

Where people are vulnerable is that the anger and emotions with those events that have hurt us, will often never dissipate and eventually spiral out of control. Anger is a raw emotion and it consistently prevents us from being at peace either with ourselves or others.

Bravery, however, is the ability to constructively deal with our past, and use it to make ourselves stronger. Your ordeal is one that is worse than anyone should ever have to experience, and it breaks my heart that someone whom I consider a true friend, and I do not use that term lightly, has had to go through this.

The concept however is the same. You have gone through anger at others, and notably at yourself. The realisation comes that you have no need to ever reproach yourself.

As you know, God plays a huge part in my life. Whilst I cannot imagine why God would ever put anyone through what you have endured, he chose you for a reason, and that is because he knew that you would have the eventual strength to overcome, to inspire, and to be the most positive of friends and influences to so many.

Your past and every painful moment, is what has made you into the strong, creative, brave, wonderful friend, partner and parent that you are today.

Enjoy every moment that life affords you from here on in. You have fought hard enough to deserve every last one.

xx