Inky black fingers cleverly worm
Through tiny slivers in my psyche
Deep crevasses of vulnerability
Once hidden behind a membrane
My shell of protection, worn lifelong
Patch-worked from a hundred brave faces
And shards from a splintered heart
Lies torn, discarded, forever useless
My depths now exposed for your exploration
You; my uninvited, over-bearing visitor
I am mute, defenceless; loneliness proves
Too powerful for normal gut instinct
I feebly close the shutters, turn off the phone
Signs easily read by the kinder eye
They do not matter, as you are different
You will not stop until you find a way in
Forgetting to wipe your feet, you tread
Your familiar poisonous dirt
Into the open hallways of my being
Polluting my air with your toxic mouth
I can only lie motionless; playing dead
Murmuring prayers for you to leave
So I can breathe pure, clear air again
And seek comfort from the one I trust
New levels of hurt and disbelief are reached
I question the evils of the human mind
Your projections and clever use of mirrors
Lead me to endlessly doubt myself
You have been here before, but I have not
Fortunately, those that love me know you from old
Smiling with your mouth but not with your eyes
They look lovingly into mine and rebuild me
I thought you were clever, but as I start again
I wonder why you never allowed yourself
To turn the mirror and gaze questioningly
Into your own, unhappy, unsmiling eyes?
Excellent poem, Jane. I was right there with you in it. It all feels very raw. Thanks for putting the feeling into words. I needed to read that today.